Hi! My name is Apricot. Can we talk?

I am looking to adopt a human or two to be my family.
My standards are high---given that I am such a pretty spayed girl, so here are just some of my thoughts about what is important to me in adopting a human:

• my human must love, properly care for and protect me for my whole life (even if I am naughty and chew your expensive shoes)
• my human must realize that I am very smart and two steps ahead of you
• my human must recognize me as an integral member of the family, preferably the one in charge, but we can negotiate who's the boss

The list goes on, but I wanted to just give you some points with which to start.

Drop my social secretary an email and she'll schedule you a private appointment for me to inspect you and determine if you meet my criteria.

I am looking forward to meeting you and talking one-on-one about how much fun we could have together every day if I adopt you.