Hi I’m Elliot and I can absolutely guarantee I was not the one who got into the brownie batter this morning. Nope. It was not me. These brown splotches on my face and ears and back are definitely not brownie batter. They’re just my fur’s natural color variation!

I promise! Besides, I don’t even like brownies. Even if they are so chocolaty and chewy and melty and gooey and…

What?! It wasn’t me I swear!