SaveABunny Blog

With the economy in shambles, the ice caps melting, two wars, and nuclear weapons practically everywhere, there’s one issue the media has turned to now that the election is over: “OMG what kind of puppy are the Obamas gonna get?!?!”

From the BBC News:

He did not mention any specific breed, but said the family’s preference was to adopt a dog from a shelter, “a mutt - like me”, he added. Mr Obama said they had to find a pet that would not trigger an allergy of his eldest, Malia.

It is truly admirable and a huge statement for homeless animals everywhere that our incoming president would prefer to adopt a shelter animal. Huge kudos on that.

But allow me to make a suggestion. (Can ya see it coming? Can ya?) That’s right - I think the First Family should adopt a bunny. Here’s why:

1. Considering the eco-friendliness of bunnies, it would send a message to world leaders and environmental groups that Obama is as serious about the environment in his personal life as he is in his rhetoric.

2. As gentle herbivores, a rabbit would be a reminder of the loftiest goal every administration should have: world peace.

3. He will quickly learn to never rush into something without careful examination - because inevitably there will be a rabbit there to trip him if he does.

4. He will always be reminded to eat his vegetables, and so will his little girls, ensuring a healthy and happy stay in the White House.

5. How freaking adorable would it be??

Also, having a bunny conveniently sidesteps Malia’s dog allergies.

So, bunny it is! Come on over and take a look any time, Mr. President-elect! Here’s a few SaveABunny suggestions to inspire you:

Sose:

As charming as they come, Sose could single-pawdedly disarm North Korea, Iran, and Syria all at the same time. I’m not joking.

Sugar:

Nothing makes a big, new house cozier than a super-snuggly snugglebunny.

Bourbon:

When all that political stuff gets too serious, this guy’s antics will make even the Press Secretary remember to smile.

Buddy:

This adorable creature already has experience with kids, and, like our country, is ready for a new chapter!

*While SaveABunny does not recommend rabbits as pets for households with small children, we have a sneaking suspicion the Obama girls are old enough and would totally treat a bunny right.

I started volunteering for SaveABunny way back in May. I learned everything I could about rabbits, I wrote about rabbits, I even did outreach events with rabbits once or twice, feigning rabbit expertise. I read all the other bunny blogs. But I have never, ever, lived with a real live rabbit. Until three weeks ago.

As with most things worth learning, one can spend a lifetime (or at least five months) studying a subject, but to really understand it, you have to do it yourself. Of course, cheating doesn’t hurt.

So in case you haven’t had the pleasure, here’s a cheat sheet I made for you of those unexpected things you would probably only learn from living with a rabbit yourself:

1. You can do things with rabbits that make human company uncomfortable. For instance, sometimes I just sit and stare at my bunny while he eats.

2. Since they’re little and don’t have opposable thumbs, they eat every vegetable a different way. It’s eternally fascinating. Yesterday I gave mine bok choy - today, broccoli. Sometimes I leave him trails of lettuce leaves just to see if he’ll follow them. He usually does.

3. They make great exercise machines. Just try catching one when he needs a nail trim.

4. You will never lose a staring contest as horrendously as you will to a rabbit. Your eyes will shrivel up and and fall out of their sockets in two sad piles of dust before your rabbit blinks. Not exactly a benefit, but a valuable experience nonetheless, if only for the massive amount of humbling you will receive.

5. You CAN’T leave a glass of wine on the floor next to a rabbit. They’re worse alcoholics than I am. (At least mine is.) I don’t know how this is a benefit, except that leaving glasses of wine on the floor was probably a bad idea in the first place, and this is an extra reminder not to do it.

6. They actually are constantly doing something cute. You sort of expect it, but then when it actually happens it’s a little bit amazing. I don’t think any other adult animal has an equal cuteness capacity. Maybe pandas.

7. They have a warm spot right behind the ears. When you rub it, it releases pheromones that make you sleepy and hypnotize you so that you keep rubbing. I’m pretty sure on this one.

8. You will spend a lot more time laying on the floor. This will inevitabely result in more frequent vaccumming, extending the life of your carpet and saving you money.

9. You will gain a new appreciation for all green vegetables. Watching someone else get so excited about them does make them more appealing. As a result, you will live a longer, healthier life.

10. Your capacity for forgiveness will increase exponentially.

In conclusion, if you haven’t yet adopted or fostered a rabbit, I highly recommend it.

That’s right, we’re talking about rabbits. Here’s why:

1. They eat hay. The meat industry produces more greenhouse gasses than all the gas-guzzling SUVs in the world. If you want to keep your cat or dog properly nourished, please, feed them pet food with meat in it. Bunnies, however, are 100% vegan - no guilt, no cows, and sea levels stay where they are just slightly longer.

2. Compost. Sure, if you live an apartment building, you’re probably not growing tomatoes (at least not very well,) but there are urban growing plots and back-yard farm communities in almost every city, where bunny poo and leftover hay would be a much-appreciated contribution. Plus, the new plants absorb carbon, and provide you with food, sans pesticides, salmonella, pollution, and expensive cross-country transportation.

3. No walks! No matter how disgusting your sidewalks are, your dog still needs to get their cute little paws all over them - twice a day. I don’t know what goes on in your urban neighborhood, but in mine…. uuhg. Point being, your bunny stays clean and saves you from dealing with the local riff-raff.

4. Bunnies are the ultimate small-space survivors. Of course, no one wants to be cooped up in a tiny pen, and at SaveABunny we always want our rabbits to have free run at their adopted homes, but even if you live in a one-room studio where you watch TV from your bed and eat breakfast at your desk, if the place fits you, it’ll fit your bunny, too. Seriously- they evolved for tunnels.

5. Impress your friends and confuse your landlord! Cats and dogs require big extra deposits, but rabbits tend to fall in the “small pets” category, and if you work it right, you can save yourself some moolah. Plus, you’ve got an instant ice breaker - sure cats and dogs are cute, but they’re not gona provide any conversation fodder beyond, “Oooh, she’s so cute, what’s her name?” Bunnies, on the other hand, are an urban enigma - no one knows much about them, and what they do know, you can pretty much contradict all night long.

So, there you have it, bunnies are the best pet you could possibly have if you’re an adult living in a city and you care at all about the fate of the world. Plus -

they’re really cute!

(This is Alvin. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t love to give him a little eco-friendly rub behind the ears!)

Based on no criteria whatsoever except my personal preference while bored and internetting, here are the top bunnies of (relatively) modern pop-culture. Nominate your favorite in the comments section if I left him or her out.

1. The killer swamp rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter. Whether this wet, fuzzy little guy had some kind of vendetta against our 39th president, or just wanted a place to rest his tired legs after swimming across an entire lake, he won the hearts of reporters and satirists nationwide. He contributed to Carter’s downfall in public opinion, indirectly helping Ronald Regan win the presidency, ending the cold war, and changing the future of the entire world. Kudos, swamp bunny. I hope Jimmy’s oar didn’t hit you too hard. Aw, shucks, he probably missed you entirely.

Here’s a closer view of the culprit:

2. Babs and Buster Bunny (no relation). I always found Bugs Bunny just slightly annoying. I’m not sure what it was about him. Babs and Buster made a pretty good team, though. I think they saved the whole bunny image for Warner Brothers. Their team work and witty banter was inspiring. I think if Bugs had had a nice girl bunny around more often, he might not have gotten into so much trouble. On the other hand, Bugs wore women’s clothing really, really often…

3. The Trix bunny. Those things are for kids, dude. But does that keep you from trying? No way! Now there is a guy who knows persistence. I have so much respect for the Trix bunny.

4. And while we’re on commercials, the Cadbury Bunny is of course on the list. I choose him in favor of the Easter Bunny, because a) the Easter Bunny has caused more harm than good for rabbits, let’s be honest, and b) I wanted another excuse to embed a commercial. I love commercials. Plus it gives me a really good excuse to link this post on the other blog I contribute to.

5. The Rabbit of Caerbannog. This guy was so badass he took out three armored, well-armed Knights of the Round Table, and chomped out a place for himself in the world of British comedy in-jokes that has lasted three decades.

6. The Energizer Bunny. SERIOUSLY. Is he STILL going?!!? Even after hundreds - thousands - of younger, more meaningful ad campaigns have fallen before him? YES. And may he continue to go, for as long as batteries remain a relevant technology and Energizer’s ad people fail to come up with a better idea.

I salute you, Energizer Bunny. May the Force be with you.

I know there’s a lot more famous bunnies out there that deserve mentioning, but I forgot them, so please comment with your favorites and I’ll add them to the list. I’m sure it can keep going. And going…

In celebration of the Fourth of July, rabbits, and the Great Southwest (where I will be all week - far, far away from fog) here is a tribute to one of the few purely American mythological beasts: The Jackalope.

I’ll let you know if I see any.

Have a great Fourth of July everyone!